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Most non-sociopathic men aren’t out to deliberately hurt women.

We’re all interconnected at some level, and causing distress in another person causes distress in ourselves. And at a very primitive level, remember that men enjoy the chase.

It’s more accurate to attribute this kind of behavior to cluelessness rather than malice, with also makes it easier on you.

In the meantime, it still sucks to be on the receiving end.

He actually likes you, but he finds your earnest Christian tendencies dampening his enthusiasm.

He senses that his enthusiasm for sex is far greater than yours, and knows this won’t play out well in the long run.

He senses that your enthusiasm for sex is far greater than his.

And then I didn’t know what to do with her when she made those doe eyes at me and said she was really, really, really looking forward to hanging out again. I can’t feel great about these stories since the experience for these ladies was probably not hugely validating.

And hey, maybe I was just flattering myself and they weren’t that into me either.

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Why waste time when a better match is around the corner? In every interaction, whether on phone, online or in person, keep in mind, “There’s a real human being on the other end, and a small but nonzero chance this guy/girl could be my future ex-spouse.” So be nice now, and pay attention. If you were to remember one of the Four Agreements from Don Miguel Ruiz’s Toltec wisdom, let it be #2: don’t take anything personally.

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